tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86996440398867125762012-02-17T06:54:27.191+08:00olihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05089981073383702782noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8699644039886712576.post-65264971968474386402009-12-15T23:34:00.002+08:002009-12-16T00:09:02.029+08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I played the ultimate feel good concert last night, and it's sad that it has to end so quickly. Concerts and rehearsals have always been a good escape for me; to be with some of my favourite people, hanging out and then going into a big room together and having fantastic auditory and emotional adventures and not thinking much about the rest of life. It's like my mind goes on holiday.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Now I'm back in real life and my mind has unpleasant stuff to think about again... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">-</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Today I realised how much I dislike my mind. It sounds complex and deep but it really isn't. I <i>loathe</i> how everything isn't perfect in my head, how my cognition and emotion make me someone i hate to be. Psychiatrists call it perfectionism and obsessiveness, but that's what it's like from the inside.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The past month or so has been incredible. I don't know if I disliked it or not. For the most part I don't think i did. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">In a world where neurotransmitters exist, it <i>feels</i> like faith has become silly, though I really really don't want it to be.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8699644039886712576-6526497196847438640?l=onlyremoteconsonances.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>olihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05089981073383702782noreply@blogger.com0